Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin
Scott Levin is a divorce attorney and divorce financial expert who has dedicated his career to helping couples and parents resolve disputes through mediation so they stay out of court and stay in control. Protecting children is at the heart of Scott's work as a mediation divorce specialist. Scott shares tips and advice for couples and parents wanting to learn how to divorce amicably without going to court. As a family law attorney in San Diego, California, Scott has more than two decades of experience and stories and tales to share and an incredible array of unique and interesting guests that join him to share their own ideas and experiences. We discuss the benefits of divorce mediation and the reasons why couples navigating divorce should choose peace and opt for the mediation process as opposed to hiring divorce lawyers and entering the litigation battlefield. Known by colleagues and clients as the Chief PeaceKeeper™, Scott is the founder and managing partner of San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law, a firm with hundreds of 5 star reviews from couples who have benefitted from Scott's legal and financial expertise and caring approach over his many years in the field. Learn strategies to tackling divorce and co-parenting disputes through a team approach with Scott Levin.
Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin
Divorce in the age of social media with Susan Guthrie
Navigating the digital sea of divorce advice can be quite a journey. That's why Susan Guthrie and I are embarking on a deep discussion about the benefits and drawbacks of seeking support by using social media platforms during divorce, the value of healthy boundaries, and the red flags to watch for in online divorce support groups and social posts. We're shining a spotlight on the potential dangers of misinformation and providing key steps to maintain an informed and secure online presence. Tune in as we explore these critical aspects of handling divorce in the age of social media - a conversation you don't want to miss.
Thanks for listening and I hope you'll continue to learn more about how you can peacefully divorce.
As a divorce mediation attorney in California, Scott Levin helps couples figure out the settlement terms and draft enforceable settlement agreements so they can divorce fairly without needing to go to court. Obtain closure peacefully through an amicable divorce. process that protects families and kids.
Visit San Diego Divorce Mediation for more information and to learn more about our mission to help divorcing couples make informed decisions and fair agreements through mediation or book a free virtual consultation.
Scott Levin, attorney, mediator, CDFA®
Chief PeaceKeeper
scottlevinmediation@gmail.com
858-255-1321
San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
www.SanDiegoFamilyLawyer.net
Hey everyone, this is Scott Levin, Chief Peacekeeper, and I'm here today with Susan Guthrie. Hi, Susan, how are you?
Speaker 2:Hey Scott, it's nice to be here with you.
Speaker 1:If you don't know Susan, you need to know Susan. She's like Uber, famous in the divorce world and the family love. Is that a thing she was? I think you were pretty much the inventor. I don't know if you were the inventor of online mediation, but you really certainly brought it to the forefront, as far as I'm aware.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and I fell into it by necessity. But yeah, I got lucky when COVID hit, or I was lucky to know how to do it, so I think that gave me a little toehold in the arena.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, so Susan is an author, a podcaster. Her website's amazing, just for all things family law and divorce. She has really incredible content. So just I'll put all the links and stuff in the description.
Speaker 1:But today I thought it would be interesting for Susan and I to talk about an issue that comes up in every single divorce that I do and I'm sure in all of Susan's divorces, and that really is where do you go for information and support during a divorce? And a lot of people look to friends and family for guidance and support. What should I do when it first happens and all of those things. And traditionally those are kind of traditional methods and I always, you know I don't warn people, but I kind of advise people that friends and family aren't going to always have the best advice for you during a divorce.
Speaker 1:In fact, my own mother sent an email to me and copied one of her friends about four months ago and it said Scott, this is my friend, you've known her forever. They're going to go get through a divorce. She needs the sharkiest shark attorney you can get. Who do you recommend? I said, mom, you know I'm a peacekeeper, I'm a mediator by choice. You know I don't believe in that. So my own mother abandoned all of the education that she's seen me doing over all these years to advise her friend right away to get him.
Speaker 2:Get the worst that you can get, right yeah.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. These days, a lot of people look to social media for advice and support and just guidance during their divorce, and I thought it would be interesting for Susan and I to talk about. You know, is that a good thing? How should we caution people if any about that? So what are your thoughts, susan, about? You know, social media is where we get our news, as you know. What do you think about social media and divorce and how people are used again?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's such a great topic. I'm so glad that you chose this one and it really strikes me, especially since I know you and I are both pretty active on social media and there's good and bad that comes with social media for people. I've been practicing long enough to remember people getting divorced before social media even existed, and then I remember the days where social media started to come into our divorces. Now, as you just said, it's a topic that in some way touches every divorce that we have, and this information piece is a really interesting one because we have turned into a culture that when something is happening in our lives or anything like, we have a question.
Speaker 2:I was out to dinner with my husband the other night and he said what you know, who starred in that movie or whatever, and I'm like I don't know. Google it right. You know what's the first thing that we do? We grab these things. We are little mini pocket computers and much of what will come up for you people is things like YouTube videos when they Google divorce, or somebody's Instagram feed or Facebook or blog posts, all of which somewhat constitute social media, and as wonderful as that is that we have that at our fingertips literally. How do you know that the information that you're getting right is the right information, is helpful information and has you know, is something that you can trust. And that is a huge issue, because now, I bet, when people come to see you, you spend a part of your time with some clients having to correct information that they've gotten from sources that are often social media.
Speaker 1:Well, my friend on Facebook said yeah, no, totally, and even if it's good information. I'll give you kind of an example. I had a loved one recently go through a pretty significant health situation and she of course couldn't necessarily turn to me for the best support because I am who I am. So she started going on these Facebook, you know groups, support groups, and they were good at first, but then it almost felt like hearing how sick people were and like it was kind of overlapped, for. It almost put her into a full blown depression before anything bad had really happened to her. Yet, you know, and it's like too much, might be too much for people.
Speaker 2:Well, and it's filtered through the people's own personal experiences of who are making these comments or doing that. And I really think it's important what you've just brought up here, because Facebook especially. But getting into a support group, it's not any longer where you go and sit in your church or synagogue basement and meet with other people going through. Now our Facebook is, for the most part, where we find our support groups. It can be wonderful to find people who are going through the same thing you're going through. It's never going to be exact, but just anyone who's like in that process.
Speaker 2:But flip of that is exactly what you just said. Is it really helpful day in and day out, because we walk around with these in our pockets, we scroll through that Facebook feed looking for that support to constantly be hearing other people's filters of their divorce experience? Might it not in some cases do what it did for your relative and either give us too much information or not give us information that is helpful in the end? And I think of the divorce support groups, because go on any. Go to Facebook right now, go find a divorce for a group and start scrolling through and you're going to see someone say my ex did this today, and then you were going to see a hundred comments below that about what a jerk your ex says and what they should do in response or how to respond.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and is that helpful? You know, maybe there is a certain amount of validation in the moment, but 100 people telling you you're right, did you need that and did it help you?
Speaker 1:Again, because once you're in the divorce process, at least as an attorney, mediator like myself and Susan are not speaking for you, but the goal is to get through the process, not to get stuck in it, right? Yes, to get through the process if at all possible. You know, skipping all of the back and forth is really how you get through the process. Let's look at this like a business and do our best to support ourselves emotionally on the outside. Do we need a therapist? Do we need a coach? Do we need a consulting attorney? Do I need a certified divorce financial analyst? Do I need a mediator? Building a team to make sure that you're making wise decisions is really the goal. Not to get back in that back and forth you know about. You know Susie didn't come home with her backpack. You know I'm going to go to court to make sure that judge tells him or her that Susie needs to bring the backpack. All sudden it's like $4.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, and that's the point right Like, is there any information in the litany of what a jerk they are? That's actually helpful, because what's helpful if Susie didn't bring her backpack back would to be have a respectful conversation with your co-parent and have some understanding around why it's so important for Susie to have her backpack. What you might do in the future to make sure that Susie's backpack's not forgotten. You know that type of how are you going to fix this going forward, spending a couple of hours talking about what an idiot your ex-spouse is or your co-parent is only keeps you caught in that toxic cycle of conflict, and that's where you know.
Speaker 2:One thing I would point out to people is a lot of these support groups are unmonitored or not monitored strongly enough by the person who started it, so you really need to find one that is moderated well by the sponsor, my friend, kate Anthony. I think you've met Kate. She's a divorce coach in California and Los Angeles. She has a wonderful support group a couple of them online and she moderates that crap out of those right.
Speaker 2:She makes sure that the content is actually helpful, so look for that if you're finding your support in that forum.
Speaker 1:Absolutely so. Things like does the support group make you answer a couple of questions at the beginning, just that alone, like we'll let you know if you can join without doing anything but clicking. You have to, you know, understand that anybody could be, you know, responding and giving their thoughts at that point. But I don't want to keep Susan any longer, but we'll come back with another topic another time. But, susan, thank you so much for your time and your really great guidance today.
Speaker 2:Thank you, oh, loved coming, Love to come back. Thanks for having me, scott.
