Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin

Scott Levin on Divorce Doesn’t Suck Podcast – Why Mediation is the Future of Divorce

• Scott Levin Divorce Mediation Attorney

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Hey everyone, it's family mediator Scott Levin, the Chief Peacekeeper™, and I’m excited to share my recent appearance on the Divorce Doesn’t Suck podcast! In this episode, I talk about why I completely shifted my law practice away from litigation and dedicated my career to helping families navigate divorce peacefully through mediation.

I share how my personal journey, including the birth of my third child, made me realize that divorce should not be a war—and how mediation is the key to protecting families, finances, and co-parenting relationships.

🔹 In this episode, we cover:
✅ Why I left litigation behind to focus 100% on divorce mediation
✅ The biggest mistakes I see divorcing couples make—and how to avoid them
✅ How real estate, finances, and child custody are handled in mediation
✅ Why the traditional courtroom divorce model is outdated and harmful
✅ How you can divorce with dignity, clarity, and financial stability

If you’re going through a divorce, thinking about it, or just want to learn more about how mediation can save you time, money, and stress, this episode is for you.

💬 Drop a comment below—what’s your biggest question about mediation?

🔔 Don’t forget to subscribe for more insights on how to divorce peacefully and protect what matters most!

San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
9820 Willow Creek Road Ste 410
San Diego, CA 92131
Contact San Diego divorce free consultation
858-255-1321

#DivorceMediation #ChiefPeacekeeper #PeacefulDivorce #ScottLevin #FamilyLaw #MediationMatters #DivorceWithDignity #DivorceDoesntSuck


Thanks for listening and I hope you'll continue to learn more about how you can peacefully divorce.

As a divorce mediation attorney in California, Scott Levin helps couples figure out the settlement terms and draft enforceable settlement agreements so they can divorce fairly without needing to go to court. Obtain closure peacefully through an amicable divorce. process that protects families and kids.

Visit San Diego Divorce Mediation for more information and to learn more about our mission to help divorcing couples make informed decisions and fair agreements through mediation or book a free virtual consultation.

Scott Levin, attorney, mediator, CDFA®
Chief PeaceKeeper
scottlevinmediation@gmail.com
858-255-1321
San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
www.SanDiegoFamilyLawyer.net




Wendy Lowy Sloane:

At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Ranked number one in innovation for 10 consecutive years and number two among public universities for employability, asu isn't just ahead of the curve. It's creating new paths to success. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university Online. That's a degree better. Explore more than 300 undergraduate, graduate and certificate programs at asuonlineasuedu.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Hi, I'm Wendy, and this is Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm talking all about the life you can live after divorce. You'll hear regular people's stories about their divorces and how they reinvented themselves and grew. You'll also get invaluable advice from experts who serve in the divorce community. A little about me I'm a former TV producer and mom of two. I got divorced in 2008 when there were really no outlets or platforms for me to turn to, so I'm paying it forward and have created a platform to help men and women learn that there is absolutely is a fresh, new and exciting life after divorce. Come with me on this journey and paint your brand new blank canvas of happily ever after divorce. This episode is brought to you in part by the Needle Kuda Law Firm guidance that moves lives forward.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Welcome to another episode of Divorce Doesn't Suck. I'm your host, wendy Sloan, and my guest today is known in San Diego as the chief peacekeeper. I want to hear all about that, why, how and everything else. A highly regarded divorce attorney, a divorce mediator and family law attorney based in San Diego, california, he specializes in helping couples achieve amicable divorces without the need for a court battle. I am so curious to hear all about this. Welcome to my show, scott Levin.

Scott Levin:

Thank you. How are you doing, Wendy?

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I am doing well, thank you. Happy New Year.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, it looks like you got some nice winter weather over there, oh yeah, we're freezing a little bit here, but it was time.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I mean, we did not get the winter blast like that early on this year, so we're getting through it. Yeah, you got to have a little winter at some point in the year, right like that early on this year, so we're getting through it.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, you got to have a little winter at some point in the year, right?

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Yeah, we have to struggle through it. But you know what I like the change of season. I'm from Miami but I think I'm more, you know, East Coast now, but I kind of like the change of seasons.

Scott Levin:

How long have you been out there? Have you been in the New York Connecticut area long?

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I've been here since I graduated college.

Scott Levin:

So since.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I'm very, very, very young. I mean, I can't tell you how long.

Scott Levin:

I'm 26 myself.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Yeah, I know right, I've been 29 for such a long time. Then one day my son grew up. You know he was, he's very grown now but when he was like realized, like mom, you've been lying to me all these years. No, no, no, no, no. That's the one lie the mom can tell.

Scott Levin:

I still remember my mom was 42, my whole life.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Yeah, yeah, that's yeah. 42. Okay, I'll take that too. All Is it. Yeah, yeah, that's yeah. Forty two OK, I'll take that too. All right. Twenty years of experience. Your innovative approach has helped 90 percent of your clients reach settlements within two months. I am so beyond curious and I so love this. I want to know how all that started.

Scott Levin:

But first tell us a little bit about you and your background and how you first became a family in family law and all that. Yeah Well, thanks again for having me. So I went to law school. I graduated law school, I worked in big law for about six or seven years and I went out and was in the startup world for a while. I kind of have a finance background for a while. I kind of have a finance background and during that point in time I was doing family law litigation cases as well.

Scott Levin:

So I was kind of out on my own and doing startup stuff and it was a bit unfulfilled and my therapist actually was like you know, you would be really I think you have a really good personality fit as a mediator and I had never really thought of it and you know I was making a lot of money but I wasn't feeling like it was. You know, like I was doing anything substantive with my life, substantive with my life, and I had my third son was born that year that she mentioned that and I was like you know what? I'm going to go just head first into mediation. I never took. After 10 years of litigating, I never took another litigation case. I haven't been to court since 2013 to represent anyone. So I really just transitioned my whole practice, my whole life around mediation jumped into it, been loving it. It's just a really great fit for who I am, what I've always been. I've kind of always been like a little bit of a glue guy in my family. Growing up I wasn't, you know, the most outgoing, I wasn't the one with the most friends or the best in school, but I kind of played that middle role really well.

Scott Levin:

And you know, in mediation you can be creative. It's not about defeating someone, which is, you know, a really hard way to earn a living, in my opinion. You know you can be. You can make a lot of money doing family law litigation. You just, you know tear down, you know lives in the meantime and it's not like that's what your goal is. Of course you're not trying to, but that's the outcome of litigation.

Scott Levin:

I mean, if you're in a corporate litigation or if you're a business litigation, you know, try owning a company and having one of your employees sue you and then doing a two year litigation. You'll feel destroyed at the end of that and that's just what happens in the family law context. It's just you're dealing with families and so I'm able to, you know, help people get through the process. What I always tell people and I talk to people every day and I don't take, you know, a lot of cases I don't I can foresee them, you know be committed to it. It's not like snapping your finger. Mediation is a buzzword these days, like you know. Almost every litigation attorney that I, that I used to get referrals from you know for many, many years now about the mediator, you know, so you, the process itself doesn't get it done. It's the two people. They have to want to be committed to it and then they have to have someone that, um, you know, kind of has the, the, the ability to bring them together when things get a little iffy.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Pretty amazing. So then you became called the chief peacekeeper.

Scott Levin:

In 2014, I was doing a divorce for a couple in San Diego County and one of them was on the tribal council, which is like kind of the government of a Native American tribe here, and these days, when people do their divorce, fight like signings when we sign the agreement.

Scott Levin:

Um, you know, probably 60 of them are now doing it by like e signing. But back then almost everyone came to my office to sign and so they were signing together and they were, you know, um, just really kind of proud of themselves for being able to do it, because just really kind of proud of themselves for being able to do it, because in that case, he was, you know, basically a government celebrity in his little part of the world, right, and they had a lot of privacy concerns and there was a lot of money out there and you know they wanted to keep a lot of that private, but they also had some, you know, unique issues. So they had actually really done an incredible job. And she turned to me as she was signing and she said you know, you'll always be my chief peacekeeper. And of course, my head, right away, like my split reaction, was like oh, can I take that from you With her permission, I took it from her yeah.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

That's pretty amazing. That has to make you feel good.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, it does I. You know it feels good to be able to earn a few dollars while, you know, playing my little role in the world to make it maybe just a little bit. A little bit of better place for kids, a little bit of better place for parents.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So when you first decided to stop litigation, was it like? Was it kind of like?

Scott Levin:

it just happened right away, or did it? How did that turn? I was in the middle of a case that I was really struggling with because of the like, just the the, just like the practice of the law. So when I was seeing my therapist I was really like kind of upping the ante of like. Like you know, at the time I was, I was almost 40 and, like you know, I had three kids. You know like what like is that such a can you transition your, your life like? And I'd already, you know my wife was sick of me, like kind of transitioning. You know she probably would have been happy if I would have stayed in big law and not come home till 1130 every night.

Scott Levin:

But that makes for a successful marriage.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I guess right.

Scott Levin:

But what happened in this case? Was it just kind of highlights, like why I wasn't fulfilled? So my client was a mom in this case and and she, she spent, we, we did. We had two hearings about um, which are like mini kind of trials, essentially, like where I think she sent me, like paid me and my firm, like you know, 25, 30 grand per trial, mini trial to. Basically, the first one was to make it so that dad's new girlfriend couldn't be around the kids when he had them. And then when she found out that they were around the kids not that she had any like, the person wasn't an evil person, she just didn't want them around her kids. Then she went back to court to restrict custody from him having about six, 40% to him having two days a month, and the judge granted it to her, and so these were like mini trials.

Scott Levin:

Remember, we're trying to get the divorce and now we're like going over here, right, like this has nothing to do with, like getting this settled, this is just taking more time and all that. So, anyways, inevitably, like six months later, we're still in this divorce and guess what she does? Well, thankfully, right, she meets someone and now she has the kids 28 days a week. I mean a month. She has not worked outside the home in like six years, in like six years. She lives in San Diego, the second most expensive city for living expenses in the country. She has no time to get a job, no time to do anything but take care of the kids Is kind of, you know, swimming uphill right. And she gets a boyfriend and guess what dad does F you? Those kids won't be around that boyfriend.

Scott Levin:

And so now we go to a third trial about boyfriends and girlfriends spend another ton of money and, uh, the judge rules in his favor and I'm like why did this judge even get involved in this? Like what, we should have denied my request. You should have just kept us on the door. So I mean, it was just like what am I doing? Like I know these are important to people's lives in the moment, but like no one said anything about these other people being bad. They were just theoretical other people. Um, so you know, I just was like this just isn't for me. So just kind of like a epitomize, like what I wasn't trying to do, like I I just spinning my wheels, not like fighting, a lot of fighting with other attorneys. Um, it's just like. Wasn't something I wanted to do for the next 25 years?

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So how did that transit? I'm going to ask. We're going to take a very quick break for one of my sponsors and we'll be right back. Um, and I'm going to ask you how did that transition? How smooth was it? We come right back.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

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Wendy Lowy Sloane:

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Scott Levin:

Yeah, I mean it wasn't easy. I mean you know I never took another case, you know. So I became very popular referral source because you know I never took another case, you know. So I became a very popular referral source because you know I had a website that people used and called and and I have been doing it for quite a while I mean not not like as long as a lot of people, but I haven't. Certainly, like you know, people knew what I did. You know what's interesting too, wendy. And again, let me just say this like I'm friends with a ton of family law lawyers, I still am one right, but, um, I don't I'm not saying I'm not judging them or anything like I'm not trying to say I'm better, I'm not. I just did something that that fit my like.

Scott Levin:

What, what I'm more about your heart it fit who you were, who you are yeah, um, but I mean basically, um, you know, I went around to my friends that were lawyers and I said, hey, back back. You know, back then, like lawyers, litigators and mediators really were two different groups. Now, like I said, almost every litigation, like go online to a family law firm and guarantee they have a mediation session section, you know every one of these firms is kind of like a money grab at this point, so they're all doing it. Back then, like you know, I got a lot of referrals from friends of mine that you know were in the fight and that's just kind of how I picked up. And then you know, the web and all that stuff. But it was a struggle at first. You know, we never went like. You know we weren't like desperate or anything, but it got iffy. But I really just wanted to be like to be able to say like I never you know never dipped my toe back in there.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

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Wendy Lowy Sloane:

That's amazing. I don't think a lot of people can say that. So a couple has to come to you together Like they're not, like you're representing the spouse or you know you're not representing it's. They have to come together, they have to want to mediate. And what happens when it doesn't? Does it ever not work?

Scott Levin:

Yeah, it does. It's about 7 percent of the cases. So you know when I was younger that I actually probably had a better success rate. You know I'm doing. You know really complicated cases these days. You know I would love, you know I look back on some of those early cases, mm. Yeah, 12, 13, like you know. No kids, no, the assets sure come on in. I'd love to help you. But you know a lot of special needs children. My clients have a lot of a lot of wealth, you know, and so they're complicated cases.

Scott Levin:

But when it doesn't work out, you still have, you still have a benefit of mediation if you want it. So when you're, when you have a failed mediation, it's not because you couldn't agree on anything, obviously. So let's say you agree on 75% of the case or 85%. Let's say it's just honestly, it's either custody or spousal support would be the two things that you probably wouldn't agree on. I don't, there's not a financial. I don't. Can't remember the last time I lost a case to. You know the division of homes or 401ks or all that Like that's not. That doesn't happen.

Scott Levin:

So what do you do? Well, you could just have me write up your agreement and get the judge to approve it on everything but the one or two things that you can't agree on, and then you can get lawyers. But the lawyers are only going to fight about those one or two things. If you're smart, because you've already, you already booked the other things away and the judge already approved it. But if you really you have their option. It's not you're not leading with your head at that point, but you have the option of just mediation's confidential. Nothing that nothing that was agreed to in mediation that doesn't get, uh, submitted to the court, can be used against either party. So you could just start fresh wow.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So your heart, your heart, is full when you come home from work you know it is.

Scott Levin:

I mean it's still a grind, you know it's uh you're doing, but like, yeah, you know, like I look back on the you know the conversations like I, I don't think I live like a very extraordinary. Like you know, I don't view myself as that interesting, but when you know we go out, like to dinner or something with people and also not be thinking about like what happened that week and there's all these little stories that I have, you know that, like that or that, when I look back I'm like, oh yeah, that was really interesting. How you know when that person said this thing, it totally changed the mindset. And you know, in litigation what changes mindsets is, the is eventually one or both people. Well, either you run out of money or one person is just gets exhausted by the process and just says F it. You know they're not giving up but like they'll give in to be done. That's like you know, I'd say 75% of the cases In mediation.

Scott Levin:

You know people that work with me. They're committing to meeting me, meeting with me like every 10 days at the latest, oftentimes quicker. So we're meeting, we're meeting again, we're meeting again, we're sticking with it. So it's a very expedited time period of a kind of an intense, expedited time period. So you're committing to like staying with it for a short period of time and and, and then, and. Then you know the goal is, you know, six weeks later, four, six, eight weeks later, we're going to be wrapped up. And it happens naturally when you stick with it at that point, and it's not because someone gets exhausted, it's because they kind of are collaborating to agreement and it just kind of cascades into that.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So it's about two months, would you say, on the average mediation takes.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, yeah, I mean, like I said, it depends on the complexity, but yeah.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Can you share like one or two success stories? I mean, I know you have a lot of success stories, but I think the audience would really like to hear that.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, you know, one that comes to mind was it's a virtual case with a couple in Northern California. One of them was a physician, the other one was kind of in a nursing or another medical kind of field and she actually walked in on a cheating situation and it was a real shock. They had a lot of kids.

Scott Levin:

Their kids were, um, uh, middle aged in terms of their being youth, so like 10 to 20 um and they had a bunch of them and they had a house in in northern california in a very expensive city, um and um, just completely devastated a situation that easily could have been like a 250, $350,000, you know divorce situation. Um, uh, and it was interesting, uh, it was, uh, it was. One of the reasons I'm proud of is it was really creative settlement, uh, because they, they make a lot of money but in reality, at the end of like every month, there was no money to be had, right? So, um, we did a settlement where the kids, uh, really were put first.

Scott Levin:

Um, they, they continued to co-own this home, uh in the in this really big city, um, really valuable, so that home, uh, I looked up this was like probably five years ago. That home has gone up by 2.5 million since then, so they were able to hold that asset Instead of renting something for $8,500 each. They were able to hold that asset. Now they're going to both be able to benefit from that, as will their kids. They had a really creative parenting plan where dad would come into the house and cook dinner and mom would not be there during those times, and it was really sensitive, though, like these people basically like really hard for them to be in the same space at all, and it just was a very explosive situation, pardon.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

They put the kids first.

Scott Levin:

They put the kids first. Absolutely that doesn't happen often enough. It doesn't.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

It destroys me to this day. I mean that people just don't put the kids first and they don't realize what this does to the kids.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, I mean I see a lot of people trying to talk about putting kids first, but it doesn't always happen kids first, but it doesn't always happen. Recently I had a case where about 10% of my business, or 15%, is people coming out of litigation and so I had a case where they were in litigation for like two and a half years. Mom in this case makes about $30,000 a year. Her legal fees were 160,000. I called my friend who was her lawyer not a bad person, like I said, I'm not a judge. I said how could you bill 160,000 for someone that makes 30K a year? Like I'm sorry.

Scott Levin:

Well, I came to realize what had happened. I mean, she was in distress, complete distress, and I don't get a lot of cases like this was like a truly high conflict case, like high conflict, really high conflict. It took me back to the days where I this is kind of like surrounding me and but we were able to settle it. It took about three months of meeting. Every week we meet. My normal meetings are 90 minutes. We made it two hours for this couple because about the first 45 to 60 minutes we're blowing off every week, blowing off the same steam though, like new stories would come up, but it was really the same distress over and, over and over again.

Scott Levin:

And the thing about litigation is like she had that wasn't getting out and it wasn't getting out of him. Like when they were talking to their lawyers but they were being billed $600 an hour when they would do it. And these lawyers you know what are they going to do? Listen to an hour and then they're not going to be there for two hours with the person every week. And so we were able to settle. They had a really young child. It was a really, really difficult situation. I can't really describe all the details, but just to say, like it was probably 20 years from now, I'll remember being able to help them in this case, it was that intense.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

That's nice. So your life when you come home must be a lot calmer.

Speaker 4:

It's a lot.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I mean it's still not easy until you get to the end, until you get to the final, but a lot different than litigating. I'm sure people are coming to you and saying, how did you make the transition? And hopefully more people want to do this.

Scott Levin:

Yeah, I mean, I'm a big believer in staying in your lane. So, like you know, the one thing I don't believe in with my friends that are litigators and they always tease me you just take care of the easy cases. Like I said, I'll go back to the days of doing no assets, no kids. But no, I don't get those cases that much anymore, you know. So I'm a big believer in staying in your lane and that's something that's not happening in family lives. Totally going the other way. Uh, every firm is now a mediation firm. That, uh, in San Diego there's a lot of firms that do billboard advertising, like personal injury attorneys, but for divorce, uh, and they're doing mediation.

Scott Levin:

It's a joke, it's an absolute joke. You can't battle with disdain all day long and then, when that couple comes in at four o'clock, go okay, guys, come on in, let's mediate. It's a mindset. So I believe that you just choose one or the other, and I know that that's a really unpopular thing, because when I look back at some of my litigation years on my tax return they were bigger than they are now. So, yeah, I'm leaving money on the table, but I think you should litigate, you should mediate, you should be a collaborative attorney and mediate. You should be a consulting attorney and mediate. You could do a lot of prenups and mediate, but you shouldn't be actively in the fight and then mediating on the side. And so how do you do it? You have to be willing to lose a lot of money if you're going to choose mediation over litigation, but eventually you'll have a nice little business.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Wow, that says a lot about you.

Scott Levin:

I mean my wife's over there. I think she's going to. She's looks like she put down the knife.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

She's like go back to making them real money. Does she want to say anything?

Scott Levin:

She's in her. It's 7am here.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So she's probably not even had her coffee yet. Okay, I understand.

Scott Levin:

I don't think she wants to come on camera. She doesn't look as good as me.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

No one's going to. It's all audio, so it's okay.

Scott Levin:

Oh Mary, you want to say anything, it's audio.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

I just want to know what she would think. What she thought when you said, when, when you went to her and you said, I'm, I'm not going to litigate anymore, what did I say? Yes, hi.

Speaker 4:

Nice to meet you. I said thank God, oh, because he's. He was miserable.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Wow, it says a lot about your husband, yeah.

Scott Levin:

I was miserable.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

You're a lot happier now? Yeah, Because he's not. He's not in that battle every day. That's like the tough place to be from someone that was divorced and went through several trials. That's the tough place to be from someone that was divorced and went through several trials. It's a tough place to be. And not every attorney has the heart and you know, and has the care and you know, has that deep soul that, like, actually really cares about people.

Speaker 4:

I think it's a lot easier to fight than it is to be peaceful. At the end of the day, I think it takes a lot of internal work to do things peacefully. It's a lot easier to just go in that fight or flight and just want to stick it to them.

Scott Levin:

That's what Hall of Fame teaches us, you just call a lawyer and then all of a sudden, two years later, you don't even know what's happened. But you're just kind of in it and you don't even know how you got there yeah, you're kind of like there.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So what do you think about him being called the chief peacekeeper?

Speaker 4:

so, um, his name, you know it's funny because there there might be a greater plan or a greater path for us that we're completely unaware of. But his name in Hebrew actually means peacemaker. Oh wow, in Hebrew that his parents named him.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

So your journey. It was meant to be Meant to be.

Scott Levin:

It was meant to be, well to be, it was meant to be.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Well, thank you, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for coming on Of course. Oh, she's lovely and you're smiling when she was talking about you, so that was very sweet moment.

Scott Levin:

That was nice.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Yeah, see that she's so proud of you. So Scott Levin, a highly regarded divorce mediator and family law attorney based in San Diego. They call him the chief peacekeeper and I love that and I love that you share that and come back anytime and share some more like really good stories about not litigating and mediating and making it more peaceful place to be.

Scott Levin:

Thank you, wendy, I appreciate you.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Yeah, I appreciate you and all you're doing so. Thank you so much. All right, thank you, wendy, I appreciate you. Yeah, I appreciate you and all you're doing, so thank you so much.

Scott Levin:

All right, thank you.

Wendy Lowy Sloane:

Nito Kuda divorce and family laws attorneys have guided Connecticut and New York families through complex divorce actions, contested child custody and alimony disputes for over 30 years. Their Connecticut and New York attorneys have extensive experience in family matters involving substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness and many other X factors that can complicate a divorce. Their attorneys adeptly manage privacy and reputation concerns inherent to public divorce proceedings and the related exposure for their ultra high net worth clients. Find your new path forward, define your post-divorce family and secure an enforceable agreement to protect your future with Needle Kuda Act now. Put the strength of their team behind you. Visit them at NeedleKudacom or call 203-557-9500.

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Scott Levin

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